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Knowing when to let go

Writer's picture: Alyssa RhoadsAlyssa Rhoads

Updated: Jul 21, 2022

I've learned a lot in life and am constantly learning and growing. In the spring I set out to open a pole dancing studio in Owensboro, KY. I wouldn't call this endeavor a failure (I'm not dead yet), but I would definitely call it a learning experience.


Entrepreneurship isn't for the faint of heart. I'd love to have a local studio, but as I was looking at commercial real estate and business loans and rushing to meet deadlines and expectations I had a realization. These people were albeit helpful, but at the end of the day they weren't the ones taking the risks and paying the loans.


I had to stop and realize that I wasn't doing this to meet anyone else's expectations. I couldn't be afraid of disappointing anyone and of what anyone thought about my decision. It's MY decision.


I had to have courage to say thank you for your help and support, but now isn't the right time for me. I think it's easy to get wrapped up in people pleasing and expectations and forget to check in with ourselves.


If I'm the CEO of my life, then I need to make sure the decisions I'm making are in my best interest. Imagine if the people running fortune 500 companies made decisions based on never disappointing anyone 🤔 rock bottom prices, everyone earns 6 figures and gets 6 weeks paid vacation.... our economy would collapse.


I can get wrapped up in wanting to do everything and be everything for everybody and sometimes its in my best interest to hang out with dog and watch superhero movies.


It's okay to call into work to take a mental health day, it's okay to say no to a project you can't commit to, it's okay to postpone something or even scrap it.

I think it's also important to say no without an excuse or explanation. We don't have to defend why we aren't picking up overtime or volunteering for a project or mowing our neighbors grass. We can simply say no thank you, or I'm unavailable.


We can make it short, sweet, and to the point. I find it liberating to let go, whether I'm quitting my job, skipping a meeting to catch up on sleep, or cleaning out my wardrobe. I can create space in my calendar, my mind, and my closet.


I am not obligated to share my time, energy, expertise, or space with anyone. I can let go of the need to please others. I can have uncomfortable conversations. I can show up with gratitude and authenticity and make decisions that allow me to lead my best life. 💯




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